Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Tied in place

I am one who is tied to the old ways. I am one who is yearning to break free of the old bonds. I am one who enjoys the beauty of the world.

I am stuck in place until I hear about this job. It is hard to wait, wondering what, if anything I said wrong during the interview. It is not easy to continue to look for jobs.

Monday, June 29, 2009


I am one reaching for the center of the maze that is my life. I am one who would love to skip over the maze and go directly to the center. I am one uses the energy of the moon to focus on what is in important.

Today I feel a bit adrift. I haven't felt well for a couple days, although it could be heat related. I am feeling like I should make a trip to AZ, but am waiting to hear about a job. Not sure where my focus should be.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Rough Terrain

I am one who is looking for the parts to cut away to make me brilliant. I am one who sees the doorway to a vast world of rough terrain, knowing that there will be moments of pure beauty. I am one who is at the doorway to a strange new world.

I will hear this week about the job. Working full time would be a strange new world for
me. I have not worked one full time job (I have worked 2 part time jobs) since I was pregnant with my first child 29 years ago. I know it will be "rough terrain" but I can deal with whatever comes up. I will just look for those moments of pure beauty and try to get lots of sleep.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Let Loose

I am one who is ancient. I am one who has lost some of the gilding. I am one who is hiding behind a mask of maturity and wisdom.

I really don't feel like a grown-up a good part of the time. I sometimes wish I was not so responsible and efficient. I sometimes think I have forgotten how to let loose and have fun.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Triple Goddess

I am one who is Maiden, Mother, Crone. I am one who is aware of the cycles of life. I am one who is comfortable with all three aspects of my life and know that I can be any one of the three at any time.

I think that today I will need to be like all three. The job interview will require that I am easygoing like a maiden, nurturing like a mother, and wise like a crone. Hopefully things will go well.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Wicked Witch

I am one who is hiding the real me. I am one who is putting on a brave front. I am one who is putting my most defensive face forward.

Really, I just want to go see Wicked when it comes to town! I have pulled this card twice this week. I am obviously not getting what it is trying to tell me. Perhaps I am not putting the correct face on myself when I am applying for these jobs. I might have to make myself not seem so nice. Having worked in only non-profits the last 12 years, I may come off as a good two shoes.

Friday, June 19, 2009


I am one who is looking for happiness. I am one who is being watched over by a greater being. I am one who finds joy in life. I am one who is seeing the joy in myself.

I have a second interview next week and things are looking up. This job would challenge me physically more than mentally I think, but that will be good. It sounds very interesting and diverse.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Not Black & White

I am one who is peering past the black and white world of job hunting. I am one longing to show my true colors to those who are examining me. I am one who is looking for world that is not linear, but myriad colors, vibrant, and meandering.

The interview went well. The job is a good possibility. It has its drawbacks. Like expensive parking and being downtown. But the job sounds like it could be very interesting. If the job comes through I will work out the obstacles.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Bright Center

I am one who is reaching for the bright center. I am one who is walking the maze of life to find that center. I am one who must travel the path by myself but not alone. I am one who is aware that the maze will take time and I must be patient when a wrong turn is made and look for the path back to the wrong turn. Make corrections as I go.

Job interview today. First one in 5 years; that one was with people who knew me already. This time the person does not know my character, my honesty and my commitment to doing the right thing. So this afternoon will be like leading her through the maze of my life so she can see the bright center that is the real me. I hope that does not scare her off!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Capacity for life.

I am one who is fragile yet strong. I am one with capacity to hold whatever life gives me. I am one who is utilitarian and decorative.

As I prepare for my first job interview tomorrow, I am reminded that I have the capacity to handle what ever comes my way. I have been off work 3.5 months now and am feeling pretty rusty!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Pig Out!

I am one who loves food. I am one who can actually be quite a pig when it comes to snacking. I am one who craves sweets. I am one who loves greasy/oily food.

I have been struggling since my lay-off with being in my house with all the food instead of being at work where food is not available. It would be so nice to be back at a job where I could control my eating by availability instead of my own will power!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Precious as gold

I am one who shines as bright as the sun. I am one who is as precious as gold. I am one who is golden.

Yet another reminder to myself that I do have value. This being jobless eats at your soul. I can't imagine what it is like for those who are the major wage earners in a family. This reminds me to be thankful for what I have and remember that I do have value. The question is how to market myself so that others see my value.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Look for the gem

I am one who can see the beauty in desolation. I am one who is uncut, unpolished, natural. I am one who knows that there is always a gem to be found, no matter where you look. I am one who knows that life erodes away the unneeded parts of me as I move through it.

As I head into the next week, I finally have a job interview! It is not the job I would have chosen for myself, but I am reminded that there is always good in any situation.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Mysteries of Life

I am one who is surrounded by the ancient Universe. I am one who is enveloping myself in the mysteries of life. I am one who is at home near the water at dawn.

This card reminds me to spend time embracing nature and the feeling of peace and comfort that accompanies me when I do. I really miss being able to be at the beach at dawn. I expect when I get to the Oregon coast this August I will spend my dawns outside by the water. That just seems so far away!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Fear of change

I am one who is not as I appear. I am one who feels like I am always hiding behind how I look. I am one who is trying a "new look". I am one who wants to stand out in a crowd.

I have purchased fabric, patterns, etc to begin a new wardrobe, but have yet to get the sewing machine out. I do need to begin. I need new clothes and am unhappy with what is available in the stores. Time to remove the fear and move ahead!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Flowers in my hair

I am one who enjoys life. I am one who is happy. I am one who looks at the world and sees the good. I am one who is able to take time to make myself happy.

Rod & I just made plans to go see a friend perform on Thursday night. It has been a while since we have gone to see live music. I think this can be a great date night. Should I put flowers in my hair?

Monday, June 8, 2009

Soak away your troubles!

I am one who blythely goes on oblivious to the dangers around her. I am one who enjoys the little things even when there is devastation around her. I am one who is aware that nothing beats a relaxing soak in the tub.

This is interesting. Just yesterday Rod asked me if a hot bath would help. I told him that I would have to soak my head, since it is a headache that is giving me trouble! Perhaps this card is telling me to have a good soak!

Sunday, June 7, 2009


I am one who flows with the color. I am one who is following a path not knowing where the path leads. I am one who is wise and all knowing. I am one who recognizes those who have passed from this life to the next.

In ancient mythology, the butterfly stands for wisdom and everlasting knowledge. The Irish say, "Butterflies are souls of the dead waiting to pass through purgatory". They are also the symbol for the metamorphosis of a Christian's life. I have always felt like they were a rebirth of sorts. I guess that is from my Presbyterian background. I now see how the ancient and Christian concepts make sense.

For me, today, I see this as an opportunity to make the changes I need to in my week to accomplish the goals I set for myself.

Saturday, June 6, 2009


I am one who is lighting a candle of hope. I am one who is looking for a path through the dark. I am one who is afraid to take that step into the dark.

No job seems like a dark place. I am aware that I am not the only one who is looking, but it is still a scary place for me. I don't recall ever not getting a job I applied for. Now I apply for jobs daily and get no response. I am holding on to the hope given to us by the president. Things may be bad for a while, but at least there is that light!

Friday, June 5, 2009

Within and Around

I am one who is ageless. I am one who is ancient. I am one who is formed by the wind and the rain. I am one who is mother/maiden/crone. I am one who has the knowledge of the Universe within and around me.

Cool. I love being reminded that I have the knowledge I need. I just need to search for it and listen! It is in the wind blowing, the rain falling and the beat of my heart. It is in the people I know and meet. It is in my family. It is in my soul.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Hiding my Color

I am one who is reborn in a desolate landscape. I am one who is hiding my color. I am one who is learning my way in a new and foriegn landscape. I am one who is displaying my beauty to the new world I find myself in.

This looking for a job is a challenge for me. I was raised to not "toot my own horn" and making myself look good enough to hire is actually way outside my comfort zone. I need to look and act a certain way to be acceptable. I am not having any fun with this aspect of my life!

Monday, June 1, 2009


I am one who disguises my true self to protect myself from predators. I am one who appears to be looking staight ahead. I am one who is not what she appears to be.

Believe it or not I am a shy person. I wear this persona of a gregarious person to be able to get by in the world. In this time of unemployment, I find myself becoming more and more like my natural self. Kind of hermit like, although a wandering hermit. I am happy with staying home and communicating with my friends via email, Facebook, and phone. Until I feel the need for female companionship and pick a day to hang out with a friend.