Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Watch your step

I am one who is walking toward freedom. I am one who is walking carefully to avoid pitfalls. I am one who knows that the path is safe if I pay attention to where I step.

I do feel that I am walking a perilous path. The path seems to run between doctors and their differing opinions. I will see one today to get more info if possible. Still waiting for one to call me back to schedule an appointment. I am really worried about my eyes and what is happening with them. How will I be able to walk the path without vision.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I am one who feels like she is together but different than the rest of the group. I am one who is focused on the differences between us. I am one who is looking for more focus.

I actually am feeling quite apart from everyone. I haven't been hanging out with anyone but Rod. I still meet one morning a week to do SoulCollage®, but everyone is really busy with no time to get together for fun. I really need to make an effort to socialize more. I am beginning to feel homebound.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Shifting Balance

I am one who is balancing my needs with those around me. I am one who is looking for the energy to make things happen. I am one who is unsure how I am keeping balanced with all the weight I feel on my shoulders.

My unemployment is organized. I have several other phone calls to make this am. I hate calling people I don't know on the phone! It would be so nice if all this stuff could be handled by email. But that could upset the balance of the known world!

My balance has shifted somewhat. The Vitamin D the Dr. gave me has cleared up my head and I am no longer concerned I have Alzheimer's. So things are looking up. As long as you don't see that huge rock hanging there in the balance. That could get scary!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Answered Prayers

I am one who is looking to the sages for guidance. I am one who knows that the next step on my path will become clear when it is time. I am one who has faith that I will know when to take the next step.

This card reminds me that my prayer in this whole job search thing is that I will only be offered the right job. Since I haven't been offered anything yet, I am taking it on faith that my prayers are being answered!

Life is all about the journey, not the destination. What have I learned about myself on the way? I am learning that I am great at procrastination and without structure my house/life goes to hell in a hand basket.

I am finding that I am isolating myself from the friends and things I love. I keep up with my SoulCollage
® practices, but prefer to not participate much with the group. We have an Escape planned in 2 weeks, I hope I can reconnect there.

I was speaking with a friend who was struggling with the structure thing and she commented that a morning ritual gave her the structure she needs to keep her day on track. I really hope to find that ritual for myself. She and I have started tapping. It is really amazing how it works. You can see it at Enjoy!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Ancient Path

I am one who walks the ancient path. I am one who protects myself from the elements. I am one trying to decipher the ancient writings. I am one who is comfortable by the sea.

I loved staying across from the bay in San Diego. A beach walk would have been great, but no car to get there. I am always energized after having spent time by the sea. My readings during my stay there were very profound and put me on the path towards enlightenment. Today this path continues. I will continue to look at the ancient religions to find the parts that I feel are relevant to my spiritual path.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Aware but unconcerned

I am one who is living her life as if there are no dangers surrounding her. I am one who is comfortable in her space. I am one who relaxes with the knowledge that even though there are treacherous waters below, I am supported by a strong network of family and friends.

I realized that I do just blithely continue on, even though things are scary or dangerous. I am aware of that there are things that can harm or deter me, but I just continue on. I may be on the look out for things that could go wrong, but I don't let that stop me from my quest. Whatever that quest may be.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Pick the good stuff

I am one who is pruning away the parts that inhibit growth. I am one who is looking for things to spice up my life. I am one who is looking for the prime parts that are the best of me. I am one who is flitting around looking for nourishment.

I have a job interview today. I need to let go of the things that will inhibit me from getting the job; the self doubt, concern over the cold sore that popped up today and the worry about how I would fit in at a state agency. I can do what I need to be successful!

Wish me luck!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


I am one who is looking for peace and quiet. I am one who is trying to shush the voices telling me what to do. I am one who is listening to nature and hopes that she has some answers.

The weekend was great. Our campsite was on the water and I felt so relaxed and rejuvenated. I am trying harder to listen to what my body is telling me it needs. I have to organize myself to lose some weight and get more exercise. Let's hope I can get up early to walk when I can listen to nature!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Break Through

I am one who is locked into a pattern. I am one who has the key to unlock the chains, but all the keys are rusty. I am one who is looking for sunshine. I am one looking to break the chain keeping me in the dark isolated place i find myself in.

I really wish I could make myself do the things my brain knows are right. I have done it in the past, but the habits are rusty and I am not sure they will work anymore. I know in my head that the old patten isn't working, but I seemed locked into it and can't seem to break myself out. I am sure there is a breakthrough out there, I just wish it would come my way!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Outside Looking In

I am one who needs to find a way to help those in need. I am one who feels like she is on the outside looking in. I am one who feels like she is not participating in the world. I am one who feels like she is just a spectator.

It appears this week my soul needs to step outside itself and reach out to others. I have been thinking as my birthday comes up that I would like to have a party. I will incorporate donations to my favorite charity instead of gifts. Gifts to me would just give me more material things to find a place for and I am already struggling with that.

So I will talk to Rod and pick a date for a party and then have people make donations or assemble a Kit for CWS:

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


I am one who is aware of the big gap between rich and poor. I am one who is trying to live more simply. I am one who is frustrated by people who are seemingly unaware of the needs of others and continue to spend way to much money on frivolous things. I am one who appalled by those who don't teach their children the value of money and to have concern for those less fortunate.

It appears that it is a soapbox day. I am appalled by some of the things I see happening in the world. The rich get richer and those of us unemployed/working stiffs are struggling more and more.

My unemployment runs out this week. I am eligible for an extension, but it is less money than I was getting. I can't find a job and there will be less money coming in.

I am still one of the lucky ones, I have a working husband, a home and great family & friends. I am not living in my car or on the streets. So even though I am frustrated by the inequality of it all, I consider myself lucky!

Monday, October 5, 2009


I am the one who is aware that I am approaching a different phase of my life. I am the one who feels like a spectator of my life. I am the one who is looking for the balance in trying to be more spiritual, finding more joy, and to taking time to relax.

This reminds me to not be so cerebral about things. I need to be more active in my life improvement process. Participate more, research less!

Sunday, October 4, 2009


I am one who is surrounded by those I love. I am one who is aware of how fragile life is. I am one who realizes how closeness can seem smothering.

I miss my sons. Neither live in town and I don't get to see them much. They are busy with significant others, work and school. But I still miss them. I try to not be the smothering type of mom, but want to be more in touch with their daily lives.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Colorful Journey

I am one who is on a new journey. I am one who is using the rainbow in my life to help me on this journey.

I have spent a more productive week than I have for a while. I hope to continue on this path, using what I have learned about myself to help me continue.