Road to Freedom

I am one who is one a perilous road to freedom. I am one who is aware that every step I take is important. I am one who even though my burden is heavy and awkward, knows that it is mine to carry and will do my best to continue on the journey set before me.

Today I will have a vp shunt installed inside my head. It has been a long journey to this juncture, but I am certain I am on the right path. It could be quite a journey to recovery, but it could also be the path to freedom. Freedom from headache, tinnitus, vision problems and cognitive issues. They don't call my condition pseudo tumor for nothing!

Nature

I am one who holds nature in her hand. I am one with the ability to view her her space objectively. I am one who looks to the natural world for peace.

I am waiting for the oak pollen to subside so I can spend some time in nature. Right now if I go out I can't catch my breath. I was accidentally poisoned by Easter Lilies and haven't been the same since. The weather is beautiful and I can't wait to spend some time outdoors.

Myopic

I am one who is focused on what is in front of me. I am one who is moving slowly towards the transformation of my life. I am one who sometimes has trouble focusing on the big picture.

Right now my life seems very myopic. One foot in front of the other, focusing on the goal. Not a lot of time to spare for the fun things.

Protected

I am one who is caught in a cage. I am one who is still able to sing. I am one who is protected and cared for. I am one who is breaking out of her shell.

I woke up in tears this morning. I hope that is not a precursor to bad news. I will pray for the family members in my dreams and hope that all is well.

The good news is I have a wonderful husband who understands that what I am going through will take a lot of my time and energy. He supports me by being there to cry on, does my chores when I am too exhausted and is the greatest emotional support. I know this life would be much harder without him

Facade

I am one who feels frozen where she is. I am one who is golden on the outside and base metal on the inside, able to appear to be what she is not.

It is hard sometimes to keep up the facade of "everything is all right". I have days where I wonder where I will get the energy to function with any kind of normalcy. We are making progress for my parents' care, but it seems slow going and I have days of despair.

Quietly listen

I am one who is close to nature. I am one who looks for the natural way whenever possible. I am one who wants to spend more time outdoors. I am one who quietly listens to nature.

I have been enjoying Spring. It came a little late and seems it may be a bit short, but I really want to incorporate some time outdoors on my days off. I know the more time I spend in nature the more relaxed and happy I am.

Awash with Color

I am one who is at times feels like 2 people. I am one who is awash with color. I am one who is in the middle of turmoil.

I am looking forward to some restful time. Until that happens, I need to make the best of whatever life throws at me. It is colorful and unexpected, but it is what I have to deal with.

Great Capacity

I am one who is fragile yet strong. I am one who has the capacity to hold everything in. I am one who has great beauty.

This reminds me that God won't give me anything I can't handle. I have the capacity to hold on to what is important and let the rest overflow out of the way. I really need to prioritize. The highest priority is my health.

I took yesterday off. Didn't call my dad, but I needed the break. When things get too overwhelming, I just need to let the unimportant things go.

Energy Crisis

I am one who looks for energy. I am one who is unpredictable in my energy use. I am one who is trying to conserve energy for the world and myself.

I have found a new solution to my energy crisis. Vitamin D! It appears that being on the low side of normal is not enough for me. I really need to be nearer the middle of the range. The doctor has given me a mega-dose prescription for one tablet a week. The over the counter stuff doesn’t work for me.

It appears that even though this is an old problem, lack of energy, the medical community has been telling us for years to get more sun and we don’t have to worry about vitamin D. Wrong! We should all be tested for our levels and add this vitamin to our regimen.

What's the Point?

I am one who is more comfortable when things line up with an apparent point. I am one who appears to be missing the solar plexus chakra. I am one who loves color.

With all that is going on in my life, I find that I need order. Unfortunately because of what is going on in my life, things are chaos. I am almost done with putting away Christmas, but too many projects have been started and then abandoned to be able to tidy quickly.

My time fills up with dealing with family things long distance and the stress of still learning a job while my boss is getting ready to be finished. That will leave me as the only employee and the only one with the knowledge of everything!